Fifth Dimension    Site Map    Search    Contact Us
	Attitude - The Will to Live Ernest H. Rosenbaum, MD, and Isadora R. Rosenbaum, MA Getting Involved Helping and Sharing with Others Nurturing Hope

Getting Involved Back to the Table of Contents As physicians, the best thing we can do to strengthen the will to live is to involve a patient as an active participant in combating their disease. When patients approach their disease in an aggressive fighting posture, they are no longer helpless victims. Instead, they become active partners with their medical support team in the fight for improvement, remission or cure. This partnership must be based on honesty, open communication, shared responsibility, and education about the nature of the disease, therapy options and rehabilitation. The result of this partnership is an increased ability to cope that, in turn, nurtures the will to live. Helping and Sharing with Others Back to the Table of Contents A way to strengthen this partnership is to extend the relationship to others. The emotional experience of sharing and enjoying your family and partnerships supports your love for life and your will to survive. As you make the transition from helpless victim to activist, one of the most important realizations is that you have everything to do with how others perceive you and treat you. If you can accept your condition and hold self-pity at bay, others won't feel sorry for you. If you can discuss your disease and medical therapy in a matter-of-fact manner, they'll respond in kind without fear or awkwardness. You are in charge. You can subtly and gently put your family, friends and co-workers at ease by being frank about what you want to talk about or not talk about and by being explicit about whether and when you want their help. Sharing your life with others and receiving aid or support from friends and family will improve your ability to cope and help you fight for your life. A person who is lonely or alone often feels like a helpless victim. There is a need to share your own problems, but helping others find solutions or cope better with the problems of daily living gives strength to both the giver and the receiver. There are few more satisfying experiences in life than helping a person in need. Patients can also take part in psychological support programs, either through private counseling or group therapy. Sharing frustrations with others in similar circumstances often relieves the sense of isolation, terror and despair cancer patients often feel. - Those who must live with cancer can live to the maximum of their capacity by: living in the present, not the past - setting realistic goals and being willing to compromise - regaining control of their lives and maintaining a sense of independence and self-esteem - trying to resolve negative emotions and depression by actively doing things to help themselves and others - following an improved diet and exercising regularly Nurturing Hope Back to the Table of Contents Of all the ingredients in the will to live, hope is the most vital. Hope is the emotional and mental state that motivates you to keep on living, to accomplish things and succeed. A person who lacks hope can give up on life and lose the will to live. Without hope, there is little to live for. But with hope, a positive attitude can be maintained, determination strengthened, coping skills sharpened, and love and support more freely given and received. Even if a diagnosis is such that the future seems limited, hope must be maintained. Hope is what people have to live on. Take away hope and you take away a chance for the future, which leads to depression. When people fall to that low emotional state, their bodies simply turn off. Hope can be maintained as long as there is even a remote chance for survival. It is kindled and nurtured by even minor improvements or a remission and maintained when crises or reversals occur. There may be times when you will feel exhausted and drained by never-ending problems and feel ready to give up the struggle to survive. All too often it seems easier to give up than to keep on fighting. Frustrations and despair can sometimes feel overwhelming. Determination or dogged persistence is needed to accomplish the difficult task of fighting for your health. The experience of cancer is not only destructive in a physical way but can be a major deterrent to your fighting attitude and will to live. But even during the roughest times, there are often untapped reserves of physical and emotional strength to call upon to help you survive one more day. This reserve can add meaning to your life as well as serve as a lighthouse that leads you to a safe haven during a turbulent storm. Hope has different meanings for each person. It is a component of a positive attitude and acceptance of our fate in life. We use our strengths to gain success to live life to the fullest. Circumstances often limit our hopes of happiness, cure, remission or increased longevity. We also live with fears of poverty, pain, a bad death or other unhappy experiences. You may worry so much that you lose sight of the possibility of recovery and lose your sense of optimism. On the other hand, you may become so hopeful and confident that you lose sight of reality. Your main challenge is balancing your worry and your hope. Hope is nourished by the way we live our lives. To achieve the best quality of life requires settling old problems, quarrels and family strife as well as completing current tasks. Problems that have not been resolved need to have completion. New tasks should be undertaken. If the future seems limited, you can achieve the satisfaction of knowing that you have taken care of your affairs and not left the burden to your family or others. By doing so you can achieve peace of mind, which will also help strengthen your will to live. With each passing day, try to complete what you can and have that satisfaction that you have done your best. Be bold, be venturesome and be willing to experience life to the fullest to enhance your enjoyment of life. As long as fear, suffering and pain can be controlled, life can be lived fully until the last breath. Each of us has the capacity to live each day a little better, but we need to focus on both purpose and goals and set into action a realistic daily plan--often altered many times--to help us achieve them. These resources are the foundation of the will to live. Only by using the power of the will to live--nourished by hope--can we achieve the sublime feelings of knowing and experiencing the wonders of life and appreciate its meanings though vital living.

You are welcome to share this © article with friends, but do not forget to include the author name and web address. Permission needed to use articles on commercial and non commercial websites. Thank you. Card Catalog Site Map  |  Site Index  |  Search CancerSupportiveCare.com  |  Contact Us  |  Books  |  Top First appeared May 1, 1999; updated December 31, 2011